The Parent Playbook for D3 Recruiting
How parents can help their kid's recruiting process (without hovering)
👋 Hey parents, this one’s for you.
You care. You’re organized. You want to help your kid find the best fit — athletically, academically, and financially.
But here’s the truth: When it comes to D3 recruiting, the best parent is a measured co-pilot, not the leader of the process.
This week, we’re sharing a D3 Recruiting Parent Playbook — the dos, don’ts, a real scenario we helped a recruit through, and how to be a difference-maker.
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D3 Recruiting Parent Playbook
✅ What You Should Do
Coach them up (but don’t do it for them)
Help your recruit build a target list of schools (here’s how), review messages from coaches, and prepare for phone calls.
When it comes time to talk with D3 coaches, let them do their thing. And when it is time to send out emails, they need to draft & hit send.
Allowing them to be in charge ensures that they truly want to be a D3 college athlete and will ultimately make each interaction with a coach more authentic.
Encourage visits — even without an invite
Many D3 programs don’t have huge recruiting budgets and coaches are human - so from time to time they will miss your emails or not see you at an event.
The solution?
Encourage your recruit to go visit a school they’re interested in during a school break or over the Summer. Unofficial visits are fair game at the D3 level (you can take as many as you want) and often fly under the radar. We spoke to a D3 Coach recently on our first live Q&A who really emphasized the importance of visiting:
Keep things in perspective
Getting recruited is important - but it is not the end of the world.
Help them in their process and also encourage them to continue living their life, enjoying High School and being a kid. There’s so much time in life to be an adult and be serious, but you only get to be a kid once. Don’t let them lose sight of that.
Track deadlines and documents
FAFSA, transcripts, camp dates, applications, scholarship deadlines. Think of yourself as the operations manager behind the scenes helping them keep on track.
But do not force them to do anything - ultimately they will have to be the driving force behind completing any of these steps.
Need help understanding when to prioritize different things? Read this:
❌ What to Avoid
Emailing coaches on their behalf
When it comes to initial outreach, Coaches want to hear from the student. Period.
There are parts of the process when it helps for the parents to be more involved, but that comes later down the road (see below).
Overhyping or pressuring
Your athlete is being recruited for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Don’t add any additional or unfair expectations on them. Remember, this is their recruiting process, not your chance to live vicariously through your kid.
Pushing them towards a specific school
When it comes to choosing a school, it comes down to fit — not the a name-brand school or a good team with a cool logo. Just because you have a first choice does not mean your kid has to hold the same preferences.
In the real life example below, that’s exactly what happened and it caused some trouble for the recruit…
Learn from this Real Example
We suggest reading through the excellent advice in the comments. Multiple D3 coaches weighed in as well as people who used to work in admissions.
If you’re curious how the solution played out, respond to this email and ask - we’d be happy to share the takeaways.
Be a Difference-Maker
There are times when the parent can be more involved - in particular, during the campus visit.
While on campus, ask questions about academic support, culture, financial aid, and the coach’s expectations.
From our conversations with D3 Coaches, they really appreciate when the parent is engaged on financial aid. This helps the coach go into any conversations with admissions and the financial aid departments with as much information as possible.
So be engaged. Just don’t lead the huddle.
Bottom line: Be the calm voice, the logistical rock, the quiet MVP.
Let the recruit own their journey — with you in their corner, not in the spotlight.
Talk soon,
— D3Direct
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